Today's Defense of Funk

I suspect I will get a few blog-hits from people wondering what my defense of Mayor Funkhouser will be in light of the Star's report this morning. In a nutshell, Funk has established a wonderful open application process for his appointments to city boards and commissions, but then went around that process to appoint Frances Semler and Tyrone Aiken to the Parks Board without having them apply.

My defense is . . .

Umm, I can't really defend this decision. It was foolish to undercut the good work of setting up an open process by using the back door for personal favorites.

The foolishness is heightened by the fact that it could have been avoided so easily. If he had called and told them to fill out an application because he would like to appoint them, nobody could really complain, and the same result would have been reached. They could have come in through the front door by filling out a simple form.

This flap is all the more surprising because respect for process is one of the real strengths of Mayor Funkhouser. His auditor background and well-earned reputation for substantive competence should have prevented this headache. The problems he has run into up until today have stemmed more from political inexperience - he failed to foresee the ferocity of the anti-Semler sentiment, and he didn't anticipate the PR cost of the Honda deal - but nobody could really complain that he wasn't following transparent rules in either case.

So, yeah, I'll agree with those that want to call this a bonehead play.

But, to avoid disappointing those who come here to attack a Funk supporter, here are a few further points to consider:

1. It was a bonehead play to skip the application process, but let's remember that every single appointment made by Mayors Pendergast through Barnes skipped the application process, too. I'm glad Mark has set up the process, and I hope and expect he'll be using it religiously in the future.

2. It was a bonehead play to skip the application process, but let's not over-react. It's not like he incurred millions of dollars in debt on a risky development scheme, or gave away school money for TIF developers. It's not like he invaded another country on false pretenses. This is a mistake, not a scandal.

3. It was a bonehead play to skip the application process, but the timing of it is worth remembering. It's hitting the papers today, but the mistake was made way back before Semler was appointed. It's not like Mark is waking up every day and blundering into a fresh faux pas before lunch time. It feels like Funk is making new mistakes all the time, but we're really just learning new aspects of an old one.

4. It was a bonehead play to skip the application process, but let's hope he's learning from his mistakes.

Things Not to do to Me

A four hour meeting, starting at 4 pm.

Conflicting with an opportunity to drink good beer and eat good barbecue for free at the Schlafly lecture.

To discuss a fifty page report that has been sent to us with instructions to read it before the meeting.

And then spending the first two hours literally reading portions of the report to us.

Highlighted by PowerPoint slides repeating material in the report.

And then keeping us 20 minutes over, so I'm late meeting a friend.

Good causes do not make bad meetings any more tolerable.

Missouri AG Candidate Jeff Harris Plays 20 Questions

This is pretty cool. Missouri's next Attorney General, Democrat Jeff Harris, has agreed to answer questions from BlogCCP. Just go over to the entry on the topic and enter your questions. So far, there are questions about robo-calls and 3rd party campaign mailings - the CCP remains focused on electoral politics. What would you ask him if you had the chance?

8 Random Things About Me

Blog memes are the chain mail of contemporary communication. (Younger readers may not know what chain mail was, and older readers may have forgotten. We used to get actual letters, photocopied and sent to us, with notes at the top or bottom from our friends telling us to add our favorite recipe or answer a few innocuous personal questions, and to forward it on to 5 or 8 friends. Some would do it, and all of us would read through the list of the letter's ancestors, which would always include a few famous people who had participated. Real letters with stamps and inked paper. It seems so precious and quaint, in hindsight . . .)

Anyhow, blog friend and real friend Spyder has tagged me with the task of listing 8 random things about me. I'm tempted to ignore the challenge, since compliance feels a little narcissistic, but I don't want to upset her further after her fawn got hit on the road in front of her property. But, unlike her, I won't write about sex. (That traffic spike is my gift to you, Spyder.) So here goes:

1. I got a "B" in diversity. The only thing between me and a 4.0 in the MPA program I finished last year was a one hour class in diversity, and I didn't put in enough time on the final paper. Or maybe it was the joke I told in class . . .

2. I can't drive a stickshift. Never learned.

3. I didn't vote in the first Presidential election in which I was eligible to vote, and Reagan won. I've carried the guilt ever since.

4. For my next trip abroad (probably 2009 or 2010), I want to go to Istanbul.

5. The best beer I have ever tasted, I made. It was a belgian dubbel, and it was spectacular.

6. In my entire baseball and softball career, I only hit one homerun.

7. I've only sung karaoke once in my life, in a basement bar in Bolivia. I sang "Danny Boy", "Piano Man" and an a capella version of "My Funny Valentine". I was brilliant.

8. I won the k-8 school spelling bee in 4th grade, but I lost in the final round of the city spelling bee on the word "forsythia". Or is it "forsithia"?

Now I'm supposed to "tag" 5 other bloggers, but I think I'll pass on that opportunity. I'd love to see some of the commenters share 8 random things about themselves, though . . .

Jeff Harris Launches Website - Campaign in High Gear

I've written before about the looming race for Missouri Attorney General. Jeff Harris is running to keep the office in Democratic hands, while the Republicans are lining up to eviscerate each other.

I saw Jeff at a small fundraiser Monday night, and I'm more convinced than ever he is our next Attorney General. He's smart, articulate, and straightforward. He has the background and savvy to do the job better than it's been done before. Plus, he's working the campaign as hard as it can be worked at this early stage - covering the entire state, raising funds and getting the word out.

Yesterday, Jeff launched his website, and it's a great effort. I'm looking forward to a strong and successful race for Missouri Attorney General.

Hating Hillary in the Marketplace

Two and a half years ago, I did a post on this blog entitled "Why do They Hate Hillary Clinton so Much?", in which I pondered the bizarre and frothing hatred that many on the rightwing feel toward Hillary. It goes far beyond disagreement with her policies or dislike of her positions - for a certain minority of this country, the mere mention of her name (or the corruptions of it they prefer, such as Hildabeast or Hitlery) provokes an uncontrollable reaction. It's like projectile vomiting of vitriol, and for those of us who are relatively neutral in our feelings about the Junior Senator from New York, it's kind of sick and fascinating to watch.

Every now and then, I still get comments on that post - two and a half years later, random right-wingers google "hate hillary clinton" and find my site. Kinda creepy, huh?


Yesterday, I received an email from someone about "10 Ways to Buy Hillary" - a funny and bizarre exploration of the many attempts to make money off of this odd flashpoint in certain reptilian brains. How sick do you need to be to want to have your own Hillary urinal screen?

Take a few minutes and go see the rest of the products. While I suppose I should be more seriously upset that someone - anyone - thinks that a Hillary pet chew toy is a product worthy of marketing, I suspect that the purveyors of items like this have an even lower opinion of the rightwing intellect than I do . . .

While I'm Talking About Singer/Songwriters . . .

Paul McCartney is on my last nerve. My dislike of him and his music is visceral - and I can tell it's undeserved. I don't deny that the Beatles were a great band, and he's put together some catchy ditties since then. I know he's lived through tragedy, and I'll even agree that he would be a fascinating person to sit down and have a few beers with. By all accounts, he's a good man, and a talented one.

So, while my brain says he's a good guy, my gut would love to whack him across the shins with a baseball bat when he prances around in this video:
(Oh, isn't he so cute! He's wearing Converse high-tops with a suit! What an original!)

Grrr . . .

"Once"

Capsule review here, because what I'd really like to talk about would be a spoiler. So, go to the Tivoli, watch Once, and come back here to talk about it. It's an Irish film about a Dublin busker who winds up in a musical relationship with a Czech immigrant. If, like me, you would have been a world-changingly brilliant singer songwriter if you had only learned to play guitar, you'll enjoy seeing the male lead put together an album with people he meets on the street, while the relationship simmers.

Oddly enough, the male lead (neither of the leads is ever named in the movie) is Glen Hansard, whose only other film is The Commitments, which is one of the best films about music ever made. The guy has found his genre - Irish films about contemporary musicians. It's a small niche, but he totally dominates it.

Let's Be Careful What We Wish For in Funk's Office

The "cool kids" of conventional wisdom are decrying the absence of a "seasoned political pro" in the Mayor's office. Kraske and most local bloggers repeat this conventional wisdom with the blase' confidence of people who simply don't have a clue about what they're saying.

Like most conventional wisdom, it is heavy on the conventional and light on the wisdom. What they're really saying is that Funk needs a savvy political insider who knows how to "get things done". What they're really saying is that things run more smoothly when you have someone like Steve Glorioso or Pat Gray running things in the Mayor's office. What they're really saying is that the rag-tag group of volunteers and friends that ran Funk's successful campaign (while people like Kraske were predicting he'd finish way back in the pack) aren't savvy like they are.

My bet is that it just isn't going to happen. Mark didn't fight this fight so that conventional political insiders can continue to manage the message. He ran because this city needs change, and he's going to bring it. And he's smart enough to know that you can't alter the way things are done by acting like nothing's changed.

I 100% agree that a seasoned political pro could have helped Mark avoid the Honda flap, and I also agree that it would have been better, at least in the short run, if he could have avoided that flap. I'll even agree that it's quite possible that the coming months will see similar dust-ups when Mark says or does something that bothers people - especially when he upsets the current power structure.

Here's some free advice from someone who understands how Funkhouser thinks far better than Steve Kraske does: Get used to it - it's going to be okay.

I've alluded to the fact that these next four (perhaps eight) years are going to be a civics lesson for us all. We're going to see how decisions get made, and we're going to see the real battles that are going on in our city. A seasoned political pro might have figured out how to get Semler on the Parks Board by cutting a backroom deal with Hispanic "leaders" before the announcement - perhaps by agreeing to put Fierro in as chair and a couple other concessions (probably involving city contract dollars for the "leaders"). The result would be almost the same, but it would happen in back rooms and we would know nothing about it. There would be a Friday afternoon press release that nobody would notice, and things would continue on in their Barnes-like way.

The only way to keep everyone happy in our city is to make no hard choices, and to spend money like a drunken sailor. If Mark wants a smooth term of office, he knows how to accomplish that. He's seen it done.

Smoothness may be a political virtue, but it's not high on Mark's list of values. In our discussion of the Honda flap, Heidi reminded me of the page where Mark set forth why he was running. On that page, Mark says that the four qualities Kansas City needs in a leader are authenticity, integrity, competence and transparency. That's what our little orange revolution was about - not smoothness and business as usual. If that is what we wanted, we had a fine man representing those values as his opponent.

I know that there are those that question whether Mark's integrity has been compromised by the Honda flap, or by the Semler appointment. I also know that if Joe Miller (Funk's director of communications) were more like Steve Glorioso, we might never had discussed those issues. They would have been "handled" outside of our view, and Kraske would never have noticed.

I'm not really an insider, but I'd bet you a thousand dollars that Joe Miller is not getting chewed out by Funkhouser for failing to avoid the public reaction to the Honda deal or the Semler appointment. Instead, I'm reminded of a conversation Joe reported on in his blog a while back:

I said to him, "I've been thinking about these insiders we keep talking about" -- a big part of our campaign platform was against The Insiders -- "and it occurred to me that a lot of these people were reformists 30 years ago."

At this, Mark kind of laughed and nodded his head.

"So do you ever wonder if we'll wind up the same way?" I asked.

Mark immediately said no, claiming he's "too old" to fall into such pitfalls. "Besides, that's why I have you," he added. "To keep me from (messing) up."

But, he admitted, there is this thing known as "The Iron Law of Oligarchy." It's an old political science theory, advanced by a man named Robert Michels in the early 20thn Century. Michels studied labor movements in Europe in the 19th Century and he found that they invariably lost their democratic and populist spirits and were taken over by exclusive groups of insiders. They inevitably became oligarchies.

When I pressed Mark a little bit on his optimism and resolve, he admitted, "I'm as human as anyone." But, he said, "I have a lot of faith in democracy."

That, my friends, is why we're not going to see a seasoned political pro come in and protect Mark from public opinion. I expect that as time passes, Mark will get a little better at anticipating and avoiding unnecessary outbreaks of negative public opinion (such as the Honda deal), but it's not really his highest priority. He accepts his own fallibility, and doesn't really want to appear perfect. He's not perfect, and what's the point in trying to lie about that? More importantly, though, he doesn't fear public opinion. In fact, he's counting on it. His Director of Communications is not there to protect him from public opinion, he is there to seek it out. And to keep him from falling in with the insiders.

Now do you see why Joe Miller is there instead of Steve Glorioso?

Books and Free Beer - Next Wednesday

The Kansas City Public Library will be hosting Tom Schlafly, the scion of a St. Louis family who, like me, is a recovering lawyer and a brewer. Unlike me, though, he brews a whole lot more than 10 gallons at a time - he is the founder of Schlafly Brewing, and two brew pubs. I've been to both, and heartily recommend them, though I must caution you that the Irish whiskey at the Tap Room is a bad thing to drink after many pints of the beer.

Tom has written a book - A New Religion in Mecca: Memoir of a Renegade Brewery in St. Louis - about his experiences in the world of barley, hops and yeast. He'll be speaking about the book, and offering up some of his brewery's products as free (!) samples on Wednesday, June 27th. The sampling's at 6, and the presentation is at 7, both at Central Library downtown. Go here to make your free reservations. He'll be introduced by local beer hero, John McDonald.

The Sell-Out of the Washington Post

It's nice to think back to a day when an independent press doggedly sought to publish the truth and expose the corruption of our nation's capitol - but it's mostly an illusion. "Insider" press corps members have always shielded the American public from knowledge they didn't think we could digest properly, and shielded government officials from scrutiny of matters they didn't think were the proper concern of the public. Examples include the health issues and philandering of certain presidents. Who knows what other revelations have remained hidden in the buddy-buddy world of Washington?

It's also nice to think that things are improving, and that our press corps has develped a more complete sense of duty since Watergate. Alas, that is also a fanciful illusion.

Take a moment and read this paragraph by the Washington Post's "liberal" Richard Cohen:

With the sentencing of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Fitzgerald has apparently finished his work, which was, not to put too fine a point on it, to make a mountain out of a molehill. At the urging of the liberal press (especially the New York Times), he was appointed to look into a run-of-the-mill leak and wound up prosecuting not the leaker -- Richard Armitage of the State Department -- but Libby, convicted in the end of lying. This is not an entirely trivial matter since government officials should not lie to grand juries, but neither should they be called to account for practicing the dark art of politics. As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off.

If you're not dismayed and disgusted by the prospect of a so-called journalist arguing that the prosecution of Scooter Libby (begun by a criminal complaint filed by the CIA, not the NYT) represent an unwarranted shining of light onto the "dark art of politics", then go here and read Glenn Greenwald's explanation of why you should be.

Silver Anniversary

25 years ago today, I stood up in front of friends and family, and married the woman I will kiss goodnight this evening. We were 22 years old and one week out of college. Neither of us had a job which would last past mid-August, at which time we would move to a city we had never visited before. We had no car, no savings, and no idea of what the future would hold. All we knew was that I would start law school in the fall, and she would find some sort of job.

It's been a quarter of a century now. We've been married for more than 10% of the time that the United States has been a country. In 1982, Reagan was in the White House, and they broke ground for the Viet Nam Veterans Memorial. Iran was at war with Iraq, and Britain was at war with Argentina over the Falkland Islands. I didn't know anyone who owned a CD player, a cell phone, or a personal computer. The Berlin Wall stood, and fears of nuclear war were rising.

You'd think I'd be full of advice on how to make a marriage last, but I'm not. If you're looking for one of those happy marriage recipes, I'm not your guy. In fact, we've probably violated most of them. We've gone to sleep peeved with each other, we've failed to set aside time for each other, and we've never gone to Marriage Encounter. Part of the reason we're still together is good luck and stubbornness.

One of the reasons that it is hard to offer advice is that not only is every couple different - every couple changes, and so does each partner. I've changed physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and just about any other way you might suggest. And she has, too. Some of what was important to us a couple decades ago is less important now, and other things have taken their place. It's been years and years since we spread the Sunday New York Times across the floor and drank coffee while reading it, or paged through a Williams-Somona catalog together. On the other hand, we didn't even want children when we got married, and now our two children are central to who we are.

All that said, there are things that haven't changed. She still makes me smile, and making her smile is one of my favorite things to do. We still listen to each other - not only to what the other is saying, but how we say it. (It is fascinating how many nuances can be conveyed in a word as short as "okay".) We share interests, but we've always had metaphorical rooms of our own - areas or passions we pursue without expecting or even really desiring the other to participate fully.

25 years ago today, we held hands and took off on an uncertain journey. We had no idea what was coming, but we knew we wanted to face whatever it was together. I have no idea what ups and downs will be coming in the next 25 years, but I know I'll be lucky to have her by my side. She makes the joy sweeter, and the sadness easier.

Tonight, we'll eat at a nice restaurant we've never tried for dinner, and then go to a presentation on a book about Einstein she's read. There may be more traditionally romantic ways to spend the evening, but this seems to fit us pretty well. After a quarter century together, we have a pretty good feel of what is better and what is worse for us.

I am an extremely lucky man.

Clear Thinking About Funk's Car

The Star and a few bloggers have been striving mightily to manufacture a scandal out of the fact that Mayor Funkhouser has accepted a Honda Hybrid Civic from Tiffany Springs Honda. The Star managed to keep the nonstory front and center for at least 4 days, and several bloggers (like Tony and Heidi - who has a funny take on it, I must admit) have whipped themselves into a frenzy over it.

People, if you stop to think about it, it might not be the smartest thing he could have done, but it is certainly No Big Deal. Let's take a few seconds and walk through a few points.

1. It's not illegal. Governments run by rules and laws. There is no rule or law preventing this gift. If we want to pass one, let's do that, but let's not get the cart before the horse.

2. It's not anything new. People have given gifts to mayors in the past, and nobody has squawked about it. Why should this mayor be held to a different standard? Because Mark is so determined to be up front about everything, we happen to know about this one, but we have no idea who paid for what in prior administrations. And you'll note that nobody's talking, either. Methinks that's a can of worms nobody wants to open. Mark, on the other hand, is doing this the right way.

3. Our other politicians get free gifts all the time. Go through the lobbyist disclosures if you want to see free gifts. Check out how Kit Bond went fishing in Alaska. I know that "everybody's doing it" is a pretty weak moral justification, but, the fact is that everybody IS doing it, and it's legal, and you don't see the Kansas City Star flogging the story on the front page for days on end. Why the double standard?

4. It's Too Late. If a politician is going to be bought by gifts, it's not going to happen when s/he's in office. Funkhouser just wrapped up a campaign season of calling everyone in town and asking for money. (As did every other candidate.) If you are concerned about grateful politicians, look at their campaign disclosures. (Note that the Republicans have abolished limitations on donations in Missouri.) Why pretend that Tiffany Springs Honda, which was probably only looking for a little favorable publicity, is a bigger threat to governmental integrity than the law firms, real estate developers and political clubs who give money when politicians are really desperate? If you want money out of politics, you need to look at public financing of campaigns.

5. "It doesn't look right" is fuzzy thinking. When pressed to justify their complaints, many of Funkhouser's critics resort to the last refuge of fuzzy ethics - "It just doesn't look right." That question draws the question of "Why doesn't it look right?", and there's no good answer. It's not illegal, it doesn't violate any ethical codes, and it's nothing new. The only thing that makes it attract any attention is that the Star and a couple bloggers have decided to try to manufacture a controversy out of it.

***********

The only reason we even know about the car deal is because Mark Funkhouser is running the most transparent administration in Kansas City's history. As a result, we're going to be treated to a bit of a civics lesson. If Barnes had accepted a gift (who paid for all those damned flowers?), we wouldn't hear about it and we wouldn't have to think about it. I like this way a lot better.

Feeling Kind of Republican

I tend to be an upbeat, positive, can-do kind of person.

Until I get a little cold. Then I go down faster than oxycontin at the Limbaugh house.

Today, I feel weak and whiny. Kind of like a Republican in Congress.

English Only Racists - Univision??

Spanish-language channel Univision is setting up a Democratic presidential debate for September 9 in Miami, one of the most polylingual cities in our wonderfully polylingual country. Oddly enough, Univision has decided to REQUIRE "that all presidential candidates in a debate on the Spanish-language television network Univision speak in English."

Too funny.

New Group Political Blog - BlogCCP

With the demise of the KC Buzz Blog, Kansas City needs a new political blog with multiple voices and varied topics. The Committee for County Progress, a "Democratic political reform organization established in 1964 to reform and restructure Jackson County government" has launched BlogCCP to meet that need. It's just getting started, and your comments, criticisms and advice could help form it into an attractive political gathering place for Kansas Citians interested in politics.

It is set up now so that each of the 150 members of the CCP is allowed to do original posts, and anyone can comment. Anonymous comments are allowed. Blog posts do not reflect official positions of the CCP, so the debate should range far and wide.

I Was Wrong About Semler

After reading comments here and elsewhere, reading a great email from a friend, discussing it with my lovely spouse, and weighing my own feelings on the matter, I've realized that I'm wrong about Semler, and that Funk ought to do whatever he legally can to get her to step aside from the Parks Board.

My defense of the appointment centered on a flawed proposition. I argued that her position on border security is irrelevant. As stated, I still think that's essentially correct, but it ignores the fact that the Minutemen are not solely about border security. In her own statements, she's gone further and suggested that all immigration should be stopped. From what I've read, the Minutemen are a disturbingly nationalistic group with an anti-immigrant stance.

If they really were a group solely concerned with humanely stopping the illegal and dangerous (to all) flow of immigrants through the desert, I might have had a leg to stand on. But they aren't, and they're a bad enough group that I wonder if Semler really could serve effectively on the Board. Would she support bilingual information where appropriate? Would she support ethnic festivals?

Similarly, I was right in theory but wrong in practice when I argued that "If Funk withdraws every appointment he makes that has a questionable view, he's going to be subjecting himself to an impossible and unprecedented standard." Semler is not simply a person with a questionable view - she's a person whose beliefs are nationalistic in the sense that the Nazis were nationalistic. I'm correct in arguing that appointments shouldn't have to pass everyone's PC purity test, but I'm wrong in implying that belonging to the Minutemen is simply a failure to be PC.

Finally, I ignored the fact that, as a Parks Board member, she would be a leader in Kansas City. I don't insist on perfection from my leaders, but I do expect sanity. Just as I didn't feel well-represented by TIF pigs and millionaires, I shouldn't accept leadership whose views are repulsive. We deserve better voices.

So, thanks to the commenters who voiced their concerns and disagreement. I was wrong, and you were right, and you convinced me.

I'll resume being infallible with my next post.

Funny Thing About Republicans and Democrats

Out of all the noise you hear from Washington, have you heard any Democrats whining about the refusal of the Republicans to allow an "up or down vote" on Abu Gonzales?

Whining seems to be a Republican trait.

Funkhouser Remakes the Parks Board - Bring on the Funk!

I tend to run in traditional liberal circles, and a lot of my friends could not bring themselves to place faith in a bean-counting white dude to make real changes in the way our city runs. People even whined when he opened up the inauguration ball to the whole city, and disclosed who paid for it.

Mark took another step toward opening up the city in today's announced Parks Board. He has appointed John Fierro, the Executive Director of Mattie Rhodes center (and a heck of a good guy) to be president. John is one of the community's most respected voices focused on improving life for the Latino community, and his appointment as president is a message that the Latinos on the West Side and in the Northeast will be heard.

John is the only incumbent - he will be joined by the following:

• Tyrone Aiken, executive director of the Kansas City Friends of Alvin Ailey.

• Frances Semler, a Northland neighborhood activist.

• Aggie Stackhaus, a former City Council member and former chairwoman of the Land Trust of Jackson County.

• Ajamu Webster, a founding member of the Kansas City chapter of the National Black United Front and president of DuBois Consultants Inc.

I don't know which one of these will have the honor of displacing Tim Kristl, but I like to think that Aggie Stackhaus will take his seat. The beauty of having a scrappy woman-of-the-people like Aggie replacing Tim "TIF Pig" Kristl would rival the beauty of any of Kansas City's wonderful parks.

I'm pretty certain that the average income of this important board has dropped by at least a digit.

Thank you, Mayor Funkhouser, for your work in giving us a government that reflects our city.

Road Food Between KC and St. Louis - Les Bourgeois Blufftop Bistro

Where do you eat when driving between St. Louis and Kansas City? Personally, I hate to spend money at the fast-food chains that infest the exits, but I'll admit that the lure of convenience and the security of knowing what I'll be getting has guided me to a drive-through or two.

That's not to say that there aren't good options at the exits. Biffle's Smoke House in Concordia comes to mind.

If you're willing to go a mile or so off the highway, your choices improve. Far and away the most impressive of the choices is Les Bourgeois Blufftop Bistro, at the Rocheport exit. Go north about a mile, and it's on the left (west) side of the road. Take the meandering walk down from the parking lot, and you'll be greeted by a white building with a glass wall and a truly gourmet menu.

My wife and I stopped there on the way to St. Charles on Saturday, and the food was as far from McDonald's as possible. Seated at a window table overlooking the Missouri River, she got the "Grilled rare yellow fin tuna on a toasted sourdough baguette with olive salad, sliced roma tomatoes, hard cooked egg, baby greens & red onion" and a cup of the "Bisque - creamy puree of cauliflower, lightly smoked sea scallops & aromatics, garnished with crawfish cognac butter." I had a "Fresh sourdough baguette with thinly sliced fresh herb roasted pork loin, apple smoked bacon, Fontina cheese, frisee lettuce & Martha’s mustard" served with a warm potato salad composed of french fingerling, purple, and baby red potatoes. Each choice was $8 - a bit more than a Big Mac and fries, but a ridiculous bargain by any other measure.

Though we were tempted to spend the afternoon on the scenic overlook of the river, we were back on the road in around 45 minutes - the service was prompt, but we lingered over the food and views.

I know there are other wonderful places to eat at or near the exits in I-70. G&D Steakhouse in Columbia serves up cheap, flavorful steaks and awesome baked potatoes.

Where do you stop for a bite between St. Louis and Kansas City, when you want to avoid the chains?

Original Sin

The Creationism Museum has pulled a video it had featured on Adam, after it learned that the actor portraying the #1 rib donor owns a website called "Bedroom Acrobat".

"We are currently investigating the veracity of these serious claims of his participation in projects that don't align with the biblical standards and moral code upon which the ministry was founded," Answers for Genesis spokesman Mark Looy said in a written statement.

Free Market Republicans?

Does anybody remember when Republicans stood for smaller, less intrusive government? Does anybody remember when they were thought to be the defenders of small business and free market capitalism?

Creekstone Farms is a beef producer. Creekstone wants to test each of its cattle so that it can sell them in Asia. It wants to bear the cost of that testing, because it is confident it can sell its beef at enough of a premium to make it worthwhile. Creekstone trusts the free market to reward it for the risk and expense it will be undertaking.

Not so fast, says the Bush regime. The Bush regime says that if Creekstone is allowed to sell tested beef, everyone would choose to purchase tested beef rather than playing Rump Roast Roulette with untested beef That might mean other beef producers would feel pressured to test their beef, too.

Big beef gives big money to politicians - Bush himself has sucked in over a million dollars from the industry.

So now the Bush administration is tying up the courts trying to prevent Creekstone from satisfying consumer demand. The Bush Regime filed an appeal of an order allowing Creekstone to conduct the tests, thus preventing us from having the option of paying a premium and buying tested beef.

Again I ask, does anybody remember when Republicans stood for smaller, less intrusive government? Does anybody remember when they were thought to be the defenders of small business and free market capitalism?

JP Wine Bar

As the dust swirls around downtown and orange barrels and barricades disrupt traffic patterns, a series of wonderful spaces is gaining traction just south of the loop. It's getting easier to imagine a bustling section of town just beyond the super-high-rents and corporate chain restaurants of the Power and Light District. The tourists and suburbanites who wander across the highway will be rewarded with local flavor and creativity.

One of those great places is JP Wine Bar. I've been there 3 or 4 times now, most recently yesterday after work for a catch-up conversation and wine with a friend. The first thing you notice about JP Wine Bar is the atmosphere. Tables and chairs on the sidewalk, soft, comfy chairs at the entrance, elegant, high-backed bar chairs at the bar. The lighting is good, the art on the brick walls is attractive - somebody paid a lot of attention and dollars when they designed this place!

So far I've only had coffee and wine there. People have gushed to me about the food, though. Their grilled cheese, for example, is described as "fresh goat cheese, French Mobier, Parmesan Regiano, pepperoncini, on toasted sour dough." Personally, I can enjoy Velveeta grilled on white bread, but this sounds worth the trip.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is their cheese flights. How does this sound for an accompaniment to whatever you're drinking?

Chimay Trappiste “Ala Bierre”
cow’s milk > semi-soft

Just north of the French border lies Chimay, a town in the Belgian forest of Mont du Secours. The monks started making cheese from milk produced at the dairy. This Chimay is a variation of their original recipe but the rind is washed with their famous Chimay beer rather than ordinary spring water, making this a semi-soft cheese with a nutty well-finished flavor with just a hint of hops and malt. While its aroma is quite strong, the taste of the cheese itself is somewhat mild but not at all bland.

Wynendale
cow’s milk > soft

Hard to find in the United States, this pleasantly spicy jewel of
West Flanders is elaborated with full-cream cow’s milk following an ncient tradition of Bourgogne. The name Wynendale is undeniably linked to the Burgundian history of medieval times. Wynendale Castle, amid the mysterious woods and the green pastures of Flanders, was the most loved “castle of delight” for the Burgundian Dukes. A delicacy, this cheese is ideal as a dessert or a quick bite.

Extra Aged Farmer Gouda
cow’s milk > hard
Easy to distinguish from ordinary Dutch cheese, EAFG is the dairy world’s equivalent of a Rembrandt or Van Gogh. This edible masterpiece was matured for 18 months, allowing its body to develop a muted caramel color, matched by a uniquely intense yet sweet flavor.

Unfortunately, though, the kitchen closed on Monday, and won't reopen until July 9. The good news, though, is that the temporary closure is caused by an expansion, so that soon the menu will be expanded, as will the space.

So far, I've only had the coffee and wine there. The coffee was excellent, served in large cups that the attentive staff kept full and hot. If you're looking for a smoke-free, classy coffee bar with ambiance, JP is the top of the heap in Kansas City.

If you're looking for over-21 drinks, JP's most notable feature is its wine flights. My friend thought the bright, sunny day called for white wine, and had the Northern Lights flight, while I showed solidarity with my FIFA-scorned friends to the south and tried the South American Sojourn. The most outstanding thing about these wine flights, though, was what I did not taste. Oxidation is the bane of wine flights - when bottles are poured out in 2 ounce measures, it's awfully common for them to develop a sherry-like, unpleasant flavor that ruins the bottle. At JP, though, they must take extra care with their storage, because each of my samples was bottle-fresh and wonderful.

As a fan of great beer, I have to point out that JP Wine Bar has a small but incredibly intelligent beer selection. 11 bottled beers cover the spectrum from the crisp Blue Moon Belgian White to the deep, dark Rogue Shakespeare Stout. Whoever composed their beer list knows beer, and didn't settle for the ususl suspects.

JP Wine Bar is a great addition to the area between the Crossroads and downtown. I look forward to the reopening of their kitchen, but, in the meantime, I'll get by on their beer, wine and coffee.

(Update: I got an email from the owner, and he reports that the kitchen will open on June 24. The whole place will be shut the first week of July, but will reopen on July 9, freshly expanded.)

Some Look at Global Warming and Ask "Why?" I Look at Global Warming and Ask "Why Not?"

The Bush Regime continues to astound. Remember when NASA was a leader in science and technology - remember when it was THE dream job for high school kids who did well in physics?

Not surprisingly, the Bush Regime has dumbed things down a few notches.

Last week, NPR interviewed NASA administrator Michael Griffin - the man in charge of NASA. Here's what he has to say about the fact of global warming:

I'm aware that global warming exists. I understand that the bulk of scientific evidence accumulated supports the claim that we've had about a one degree centigrade rise in temperature over the last century to within an accuracy of 20 percent. I'm also aware of recent findings that appear to have nailed down — pretty well nailed down the conclusion that much of that is manmade.

So far, so good. Even a Bush appointee must face reality once in a while.

But what makes Griffin special is what he does with reality. To coin a phrase, while most of us look at anthropogenic global warming and ask "Why?", Bush appointee Michael Griffin looks at anthropogenic global warming and asks "Why not?".

When asked whether he has any doubt that this is a problem we need to wrestle with, Griffin envisions a world where Arkansas is on the Gulf Coast and Siberia grows pineapples:

And second of all, I guess I would ask which human beings — where and when — are to be accorded the privilege of deciding that this particular climate that we have right here today, right now is the best climate for all other human beings. I think that's a rather arrogant position for people to take.

Bravo, Mr. Griffin! Indeed, who are we to judge such things? If our activities cause Florida to flood, who are we to say that's a bad thing? If our activities cause Africa's drought and famine to spread, maybe that will all work out for the better.

In climate change, there will be winners and there will be losers. Conventional wisdom suggests that it is unwise to unleash forces we are able to neither control nor understand. Conventional wisdom says that starvation, flooding, and dislocation of millions of people will be a bad thing, but, really, isn't labelling them "bad" just an arrogant value judgment?

Blessed with Griffin's insight, I look back on other instances where man has sought to ameliorate man's impact on the world, and, released from my arrogance, I see things in a new light. Why did that arrogant bitch Rachel Carson assume we would want a world without DDT killing off our birds and fishes? Who was the arrogant ass who interfered with our pollution of Lake Erie, so that now we can't light it on fire anymore? Indeed, who are those arrogant anti-nuke wusses who prevent us from unleashing a nuclear winter on this warming planet?

It's time for the arrogant creeps who seek to minimize man's impact on the globe to step aside and let us play with the environment as much as we like. Why must we assume that catastrophic change will necessarily be a catastrophe?

Monetizing the Blog

I recently got another web-hosting bill - it costs a few hundred dollars a year to keep up the domain and the traffic. Cheaper alternatives exist, I'm sure, but I think I'm getting a decent deal.

As hobbies go, blogging is neither expensive nor cheap - or both expensive and cheap. Part of cost assessment depends on how you account for time. Is the time I spend posting here and keeping up with other blogs an additional expense, such that even if you count my time at minimum wage, I'm pumping in thousands and thousands of dollars? Or is it a benefit - cheap amusement, such that my few hundred dollars of cash spent on the hobby get divided by the hours I spend on it, resulting in my hobby costing only pennies per hour? Do I look at entertainment value, or opportunity cost?

Regardless of how I look at it, temptation beckons to "monetize the blog" - turn this into a money-making venture. Blog-ads offer an easy way to surrender a column to commerce and bring in a few pennies every time one of my readers clicks over. Some sites are successful at selling ads directly to businesses that want to contact a specific demographic. One particularly hungry blogger I visit even sells blog entries - you're reading his right-wing perspectives one minute, and the next minute you're reading about his bought-and-paid-for recommendations for mortage loans or software. I'm tempted to see if he'll write an entry in favor of John Edwards for $20.

And therein lies the rub. Once you start whoring, it's hard to know where to draw the line. Do I really want to start looking at my hobby as a source of income instead of as a source of amusement? Maybe I could squeeze out a couple hundred bucks a month if I made the right moves - who knows?

It's not worth it. I don't want to worry about whether my next post is going to piss off an advertiser. I don't want to worry that if my hit numbers slip, I might lose a few dollars. I don't want to feel an urge to write about gun control or abortion just to spike the numbers.

Already, I worry a little about what I post. Even though I'm technically anonymous, there are plenty of people who know my identity, and my employer. I've had some fairly cross conversations with people who are enthusiastic in their love of weapons. I've even received an anonymous letter at my house about the blog. All that is on top of the fact that I like my readers and commenters, and don't want them to get so pissed off that they drop me from their "Favorites" list.

My father once told me to "go ahead and cheat and steal and lie, but only if you can get away with enough to retire wealthy." His point was that your integrity has some value, and people who lie, cheat and steal tend to sell out their integrity awfully cheap. My dad died long before I took up blogging, but I suspect he would tell me that my integrity has enough challenges already.

Immigration Solution

I'm a problem solver by nature, so I don't want to simply make fun of the white people who are proposing extreme measures to hunt down, punish and deport brown people. It would be beneath me to question their humanity or their own right to be in this country. Simply stated, I'm not going to point out that most of them are descendants of people who went through roughly the same level of approval before entering this country as any fence-jumper they can find on TV. I'm also not going to sink to the level of pointing out that the families of many of those brown people were here long before the borders were drawn by the uninvited white people.

Now, I see that some right-wingers want to take away the rights of "anchor babies" - children are born in this country, but have parents who have not jumped through all the hoops to obtain citizenship. Now, my work causes me to see a bunch of kids who probably fall into this category, and they are bright, beautiful children. Certainly as bright and beautiful as the children of any of the people I've seen complaining about immigrants.

So I got to thinking. Clearly, this is not a matter of race, because the anti-immigrationists are careful to tell me all the time that they are not racists. So, I suppose they're not, because they're Americans, and wouldn't lie. Also, this is clearly not about economic protectionism, because real Americans like competition, and trust in it to make the economic engine of our country run at maximum RPM. Finally, this is clearly not about inheriting a right to be here because of choices your parents made, because America is, above all, about democracy and a rejection of English notions of nobility and inherited titles.

Since we've reached a point where deporting children born here in America is sounding like a good idea to pundits and Republicans, I think we need to accept that idea and expand upon it. We're already quite comfortable with our government splitting up families over immigration issues - it happens all the time, and I defy you to find a trace of pity on a right-wingers face when the INS deports a father or mother. When I see all those bright, young "anchor babies", and compare them to some of their suburban and rural cohorts, I cannot help but think that a rational immigration policy would probably make some unexpected choices in which ones should be deemed "American".

I propose that we have a national citizenship exam for children at age 5, testing them on IQ, language skills, cultural competency and athletic ability. (The Bush administration has blazed the trail on this one with the over-the-top testing requirements in "No Child Left Behind".) We then decide who gets to stay and who gets deported. It's incredibly simple, really.

Of course, not everybody is at their best at age 5, so I propose that every 15 years, thereafter, we have a retest. This retest could include more categories than the test for 5 year-olds, and reflect more American values, such as appreciation of our Consitution and maybe a section on "Judeo-Christian values" (they're not actually described in the Constitution, but everyone knows they are the foundation of our country, right?). Willingness to join the military could be a bonus question. We deport the bottom 10%, and replace them with the top 10% of the applicant pool. That way, our country will be constantly improving, and those deported will ultimately be happier, anyhow, as they find countries where they fit in better.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, but let me state clearly that this is the absolute best solution to our immigration issues. This plan is focused on what is best for America. The only downside I can see is that it would split up families and communities, and cause people's lives to be disrupted, but we're already over that concern. We already do that, and most anti-immigrationists are enthusiastic about doing more of it! So, let's roll!

If you fail to see the brilliance of my proposal, I suspect you're going to have a tough time with your test . . .